how do i have a 17 year old? (3/23)

Birthday season proved tricky for the newbies in town. Kindin found it difficult to decipher exactly who were close enough friends to celebrate with and uncertain about how to let loose with her new friends. We settled on hosting a permanent jewelry party with just a few girls.

At 17, I'm realizing that my time with her is limited. We have about 75 weeks with her before she leaves the house. I have 75 weeks to... giggle, play, connect, teach, and inspire her. [Giggling is what I'll miss the most - observing AZ's tricky winter grass quality, she joked, "You have a pretty good chance of finding a 4 leaf clover back here."] I have started more deliberately chatting with her late into the night even though I'd rather be in bed. And I am providing independent living skills such as sending her to get an oil change all on her own. 

Some trivia about Kindin at this age: she is most frequently called "Cocoa" at home by her parents whom she refers to as "Sussy" or "Boss", she can't keep a poker face, she will always treat herself to extra mayo, she has never had to be told to clean her room but is the messiest cook, she has adopted a funny racoon noise for the sake of ridiculousness, she remedies generalized worry with a run, she would play tennis 3x/ day if her body allowed it, she is limited to one request/meal for others to chew with their mouth closed, she continues to excel at school, she has been given more freedom to decide her curfew with less check-ins but still shows a desire to please her parents, Jack's friends are all madly in love with her, and she employs a what's yours is mine mentality - whether it's hairspray, floss, a charging cord, shampoo, shoes, or fingernail clippers.

entry remodel complete (2/23)

In a hurry to secure Dalia's room, we started remodeling our front entry space almost immediately. I was also surprised by how much mental space and energy it took with lots of last minute, stressful decisions. Here's the before photos:

The after pics are fabulous and Dolly is happy to have her own room. We used off the cuff design help from aunt Sarah and Andrea who both always have a great eye for these things.

Remodeling an entire backyard feels like a nightmare... 

sliding into 6th positions (2/23)

Tennis is competitive in Mesa! We knew it would be so quickly got them connected to a tennis pro. Jack felt his new coach worked 'magic' but both were still extremely worried. Mom was even more worried. 2 weeks of tryouts was pure torture as I prayed fervently that they'd make it - terrified that it'd be perpetual ammunition against Mesa if they didn't. Thankfully, Heavenly parents answered an earthly mother's fervent prayer and both kids squeezed onto the team... just barely at the 6th positions. 

What followed was a really challenging season - where both kids learned some valuable lessons, made friendships, and improved their game. 

school at the funny farm (3/23)

Dalia had a pretty rotten school experience with the move. Downgraded to elementary school, she found herself wrapped up in recess drama and tied to the same 30 people all day. In addition, she had an inexperienced teacher who relied heavily on her for math concepts every day. We made a few attempts to remedy things but kept hitting a wall. In addition, Dalia was slated for a different junior high than her territorial classmates anyhow. All in all, she made a good attempt but the battle felt fruitless. We strongly encouraged Dalia to change schools but worried at the same time. After spring break, she switched to the elementary that a few friends in the ward attend for an 8 week respite from the drama. Our only hope was that she made 1 or 2 friends for the summer and regained her social self esteem that had taken quite a hit. Dalia was placed in a classroom with a teacher who owns a few animals - including: a 200 pound tortoise named Carl, 2 smaller tortoises, 2 chickens, and 12 baby chicks. Her collection grew throughout the year to add 2 additional ducks. The kids are in charge of animal chores and get to name each new animal. Dalia's first week brought the chore of feeding Carl the leftover lunches every day. Higher ability learning programs were no longer the only highlight to her week. And better yet, she felt welcomed by her classmates without unordinary drama and has met a friend whom she sees outside of school often. And, of course, she comes home with plenty of animal stories. 

and to think, all i wanted was a boat (12/22)

We were recruited for a commercial on the boat ramp at Saguaro lake. Not interested in opening myself to public scrutiny or even just the public eye, I wanted to say no. But I looked at my daughter who desperately wants fame and said maybe. After checking legitimate credentials, I had no choice but to say yes. And it was unnerving but incredible! Not only a fun, unique experience that I never thought I'd have but a crowning moment from years of dreaming. As a kid, I always wanted a boat and knew I'd find a man who could get me and my kids on the lake. As able, we carefully prioritized opportunities to be on the lake together. And as needed, enforced it as family time. Typically, all want to go because we make it fun but sometimes we've fought teenage angst. Shooting a commercial was crowning in that it validated a move cross country and also recognized the dreams I'd always had of having a boating family. Besides also nodding to the fact that we were doing an OK job of it! In that moment, many years of dreaming culminated with reality and I whispered to Dave, "and to think all I wanted was a boat". It was a perfect opportunity! 

On shooting day, the kids were enamored with the 'greeking' required and being served food like celebrities. We were shot with drone footage, cameras on the boat and a pantoon boat beside us. We ran the same sequence over and over in order to get 'the perfect shot'. And although air and water temp were 50 degrees, we were all paid and the kids skipped school for it. All with no need for a "bio break".

Many Mesa locals have spotted our commercial - some have questions and we're relieved to explain but others don't and it's an odd feeling for it to be the first impression of us. But it was such a good time!

Oceans 10: our beautiful home (11/22)

We found a gorgeous home in a quiet neighborhood. Our favorite highlights include: 9 citrus trees, a poop bathroom because it's extra, Kindin's en suite, a concrete pad for the garbages, one story living, so much room that we keep losing people, a Bougie gated community, room for pingpong, blooming birds of paradise, proximity to walmart, a wildlife bird sanctuary in the backyard, a kitchen that we gather in, white baseboards, and a master closet which has been lovingly named Oceans 10 by the kids. We have a small and immediate remodel in the entry in order to make the space work and will have to build a backyard but it's perfect for us! Kindin will always take credit for finding it as the one who suggested we change filters and put in the pool ourselves.  

Kindin's AZ angels (2/23)

Since summer, Kindin has had severe abdominal pain monthly with periods - missing a full day of school every month and experiencing anxiety. November was proving to be the same, complicated by a flu shot the day before. I encouraged fluids, water, and quick rest before becoming a bit more stern about returning to normalcy. Kindin was hunched over and resistant to suggestion; by 1:00, she was screaming to go to the dr. That's when i knew she needed to go in. We went to urgent care who sent us to the ER. unsure if there was anything to stress about, we sat in the waiting room for hours. Tests were finally completed at 11 pm and confirmed an appendix infection. The hospital was overflowing and we were told that her surgery wouldn't be until the morning. It was a very long and scary night. My mother prayers were more fervent than they'd ever been - both for safety and to keep my head about me. Ultimately, I felt like we were sitting ducks hoping to make it through the night. Kindin was in so much pain and only getting worse. They kept pumping her with morphine which I didn't want but felt there was nothing more we could do. Surgery prep started at11:00 the next morning and I sat in a puddle of tears in the waiting room hoping that all was ok. The dr reported that her appendix did in fact, "leak" but that she should heal just fine. I feel like we both had superhuman strength through the night. And we were blessed with humor through it all too. Some of her best quotes in that 24 hr period:

- What if they discover that appendix is helpful in a few years? 
- If I sneeze with my covid test,  I will freak out!
- I'm going to be high soon - the game Never Have I Ever is going to be so much more fun now. Never have I Ever forcefully had my bladder filled up, Never Have I Ever been high, Never Have I Ever been without an appendix
- My head feels kind of bouncy
- "I don't believe you" after surgery and lifted up her gown in front of everyone in disbelief. Then fretted, "They did it on the wrong side!" when seeing where her scar was. 

While delivering Christmas caramels, I got a call from Kindin who reports that she was just hit in her car. I heard a loud-mouthed male on the other end of the phone and felt so fearful. Kindin said, "there's no damage to the car but we pulled over and I don't know what to do." I was less concerned about the accident and more concerned about her personal safety. I called David to respond as quick as possible but half terrified, I find myself driving to the scene as well. When arriving, I kept eyes on the scene but circled waiting for Dad to handle it. Somehow, there somehow wasn't any damage to her car!?  She later told the Swig worker that she must've been protected because, after all, she and her friend were on the way to the temple lights. Thankful for angels who somehow provided a bubble of protection for her and her friend that night.

I received a scary text from Kindin from work, indicating that there was a break-in after hours and that her and 2 coworkers were hiding in the backroom with crashing noises out on the sales floor waiting for the police to arrive. With it being Superbowl week in Phoenix, I was terrified that the police wouldn't get there soon enough. David was unreachable so I blindly jumped in my car - thinking about how I could intervene on the way there. Luckily, a police officer arrived just ahead of me whose arrival scared off the intruder. The girls came out to discover tables knocked over and inventory thrown around. So thankful that the intruder didn't harm any of these girls and for police who responded quickly!