tough, tough 5/23

Being a parent is tough. I most realized that after receiving a phone call to come pick up my daughter. Details aside, I suddenly felt rocked to my very core. In an instant, seemingly insignificant decisions could become life changing for the child we'd taken such care to protect and teach and fly into a happy future. I didn't sleep at all that night and probably the next. Dave and I talked for hours with some shock, some indecision, and some disagreement even. What was the right way to handle this? How would we feel as though there was some protection for her? When would I lose the sense of uneasiness I that flooded me? 

Being a teenager is also tough. So much of life is learned through experience - many of the most important ones with mistakes. We prayed to handle her free agency with care so that she would begin communicating with us while also providing consequences that we hoped she would see as protections.  Rules were adjusted with privileges and privacy lost for a time. There was a lot of drama following which continued. She could continue to make and hide poor choices but we hoped she wouldn't. She could make some simple decisions to open up to a flourishing future. But it truly wasn't up to us. It was her choice to make and specifically her timing to decide. And control seemed to be exactly what she needed. 

Here's to doing tough together!

mom's valentines (2/23)

Dalia (my brave valentine),

You bring enthusiasm, confidence, and companionship to every situation - even if it isn't well received. I am constantly impressed that you seem to know exactly who you are. Others need your strong example and benefit from it. (Including me) Your spirit must be very close to our heavenly parents. I love you very much! 

Jack (my funny valentine),

I am always smiling when you're around - you bring humor and a humble brag even on tough days. Many around you rely on your ability to be light- hearted but strong and steady and smart. Including me. I love you very much!

Kindin (my fierce valentine),

It's so great to watch you use your strong will and God given talents for good. You are a fierce force that makes others want to be both around you and like you. Including me. So proud of who you are and the good that you do. I love you very much!

 

mom's elevator speech 5/23

I feel respected as a social worker among coworkers but it can be pretty tough describing what it is that social workers do. I've often felt that social workers aren't well prepared to showcase and advertise their skills or roles. Following suit, I always struggle a bit to describe it as well. The bishop asked me to be part of a career panel to answer a few questions about being a social worker. I inevitably was tripped up a tiny bit but here is how I answered:

Q: When and how did you come to know what you wanted to do?

A: In high school, I was certain I'd be an accountant. I took accounting 1 and 2. First math class at BYU was deflating and I ditched that dream. I kept my ears open for what sounded interesting and my friend Wendy was a social work major so I took an intro class and fell in love. I never looked back. My mom warned, "you'll never make any money in SW!" And when I persisted, added, "Well, you're going to have to get a masters degree for that. " She really wasn't happy but I loved it. I started to see that I had been a pretty calm caregiver all growing up.  My grandparents needed daily attention - my grandpa had MS and my grandmother had Schizophrenia so I had practiced talents there. (Fooled gma to the Dr to get her shot)

Q: What can you do with your college degree?

A: SW at bachelor level can work in a variety of settings: medical settings, child protection or community organizations, policy making, residential treatment, etc. but at the masters level is when you're able to also provide counseling which opens up so many more options and autonomy and another line of work essentially. In my career,  I have shifted back and forth between counseling and social work which has given me a lot of flexibility and job satisfaction.

Q: How do you feel your job allows for balancing work and family roles?

A: Balancing work and family has been something I've been very aware of.  Maybe too aware. In fact, I've opted for social work jobs rather than counseling at various times based on what my emotional bandwidth was like - ex: I was the yw pres and had 3 kids who needed me and need for flexibility.  Sw is work I have the ability to detach from at the end of the day but counseling is a little harder for me. I am grateful that I got my education done early on! Currently, I'm waiting until we feel settled to go back to work. Working overnight in the ER was great in my 20s but would be much harder now. 

Q: What do you enjoy most about your job? 

A: I love hearing people's stories. Problem-solving is a fun skill. Working with a multidisciplinary team. I learn new things every day and one day is never like another. Rewarding to make a difference and be helpful.

Q: What is the least enjoyable part of your job? 

A: burnout, lack of resources, low pay/recognition

Q: What advice would you give to someone to help them figure out if what they want to pursue your work?

A: Yes! Check it out. You'll like it! Maybe consider a double major. Such as an RN degree. Volunteer work is a good way to build resume and identify strengths and areas of interest. Rape crisis team, front desk at hospital, bingo at a nursing home, respite care with serious emotional disturbance kids

Q: What settings have you worked in as a social worker?

A: Hospital - Worked at hospital: in ER- dr called me in as psych expert to disposition, transitional care unit - help transitioning to home safely; psychiatric inpatient ward - making safety plans/ stabilization for independence; rehabilitation - family meetings to meet daily living needs, adjusting to new normal; outpt pediatric mh counseling - one way mirror, sand trays, parent child therapy 

her Crumbl reference (10/23)

Kindin absolutely loved her job at Crumbl! Having been nicknamed the cookie monster since a very young age, it was kinda the perfect fit. Plus, pink is her very favorite color. It quickly became obvious that not only did she like her job but her job liked her. She was promoted to leadership positions quickly, entrusted with a key to the store, and tasked with both opening and closing duties. When it was time for references for BYU application, her manager wrote the following: 

To Whom it May Concern,

I am writing to recommend Kindin Parry for enrollment at your institution. 

I have known Kindin for 6 months as the manager at Crumbl Cookies and have nothing but positive things to say. She was hired as a baker and within 2 weeks showed so many strengths in leadership that I quickly promoted her to shift lead. Her fellow team members have also only had the best feedback pertaining to Kindin's leadership and kindness. There is no doubt in my mind that Kindin will be an excellent addition to your school.

I have always known Kindin to be compassionate, disciplined, flexible, honest, and having a great sense of ambition. Over the course of her employment here at Crumbl I have witnessed tremendous growth in Kindin's adaptability, communication, and leadership skills. Her self management, teamwork, and problem solving traits will help her achieve her highest potential in college. I am certain these cultivated skills will allow Kindin to excel in anything she puts her mind to. 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions or requests. 

Regards, 

Alicia Westbrook

Manager

Crumbl Cookies

Sundays are for manicures (7/23)

Kindin and Dalia have spent hours honing real manicure talent. It has evolved from rudimentary colors and nail gems to full acrylic tips with customized artwork. Sunday afternoons are often spent together - hunched over UV lights for the perfect tips. 

the beginnings of Kin & Ken (6/23)

Kindin and Kennedee met as youth camp leaders who were both willing to step up, be creative, and work hard. They paired up on lots of projects and giggled through camp together. Their friendship was a blessing to Kindin who needed new friends and was a piece of home when they both left to BYU together! Over their two college years as roomies, they had many adventures and lovingly became known as Kin & Ken.  

Of note: Kindin led the fireside with Elder Lund, designed the camp tshirt, and Dalia attended her first girls camp with her at Camp LoMia.

the year we welcomed Barry into the family (5/23)

Finding a tennis coach as newbies in town was a tall order. Naturally, everyone was very tight lipped about who they get lessons from - especially since Kindin had taken a varsity girl's spot. On top of that, the coach we wanted was very discerning and choosy about his clientele. As a result, Jack and Kindin started lessons at the Phoenix Tennis Club while waiting to get connected with the academy we wanted.

In May 2023, Barry entered our lives and has helped each kiddo since. He has a lot of beloved nicknames at our house - most notably,"Barold" per Jack and "Barry Queen" per David but the one that fits as a psuedo member of the fam should be Barry with a rhyming last name.