dolly's tribe (5/2021)

Dolly found her people at the nail salon. In fact, Dalia herself was the main attraction.  The manicurist was entertained, the people behind her were giggling and Dolly was smiling ear to ear.  For her, the process of it all was just as exciting as the end result. In fact, her nails took much longer than mine or Kindin's did and we both sat in awe at how much she was truly loving it. Her and her manicurist discussed how the glitter would show off extra under the stage spotlights are her upcoming dance recital, they posited to wave with her hands backwards to show off her nails, and even discussed how the sound of freshly done nails clicking was the perfect base for a horror movie. As soon as we got into the car afterwards, Dolly said, "That was so fun... Can we go back?"  

duality (1/2021)

As Taylor began rehabilitation for cancer, simultaneously, Kindin began a friendship with a schoolmate who ended up being her sister. On intake, Taylor's mother and I realized that our daughters were building a friendship and awkwardly navigated confidentiality. As months passed, their bond became stronger and our treatment team saw a very poor prognosis for Taylor. It was incredibly difficult to play a double role in their lives during this time. Brooklyn never mentioned it, Taylor wouldn't leave the home in a wheelchair, and her mother forged ahead looking more and more tired every day. They refused counseling and typically refused to talk about it at all. (Except the one occasion in which her mother broke down in my office and acknowledged that she knew her daughter wasn't going to beat this but never whispered words like that again.) I felt like a failure as the treatment team asked for my guidance about how to encourage this hopeful teenager to rest and enjoy what she had left of life but I didn't have the answer. I empathized with hope and waited for an opening to refer them to hospice who were the real experts in navigating final days but they simply weren't ready. I wished to help them see the value of one last family vacation but saw a family exhausted and pushing until the end. There were many days at work that I felt like a failure. I also felt like a failure when her sister was in my home but uttering nothing. 

Kindin and I attended Taylor's funeral and I began crying even before the funeral began and found myself unable to stop all throughout. I felt as though I'd failed them while sitting next to my own, healthy daughter. I watched as Taylor's father buried his head throughout the service and wondered how this might change him forever. I felt a burden to take care of a sister who was now an only child and wondered how to talk to this mother who had gritted her teeth and kept it in for all these months. But there was laughter too. Apparently, Taylor was a big fan of bodily functions and often peed herself - long before her diagnosis precluded her to such. Her peers and parents related these stories and laughter filled the audience. Kindin and I talked considerably about those funny moments afterwards and Kindin emphasized my own issues and need for Kegels. It was a wonderful, cathartic release after a long few months.

A few days after the service, I happened to be on a step cleaning the mirrors and bathroom lights while chatting with Kindin. Suddenly, I missed the step down and ended up falling from countertop height - causing a waterfall leakage from my pants. There was a puddle of pee on the floor and Kindin optimistically questioned if it was cleaning solution. We died of laughter as I showed her the stain on my pants and verified the yellow pool on the floor. I thought about Taylor and her momma in that moment and how her legacy connects Kindin and I. 

i am titanium... with a jeep (1/2021)

Mom's fancified ears (complete with surgical grade titanium earrings) are now traveling around in a fancy, new Jeep! Getting to choose my very own car proved to be a rather daunting decision with Saab out of the running years ago. I guess, other than an out-of-budget Range Rover, I didn't have specified preferences. Dave was terribly disappointed with my haphazard, avoidant buying profile but I knew I'd be happy with low miles and leg room for the kids. (Besides, topping the van was not going to be difficult.) I ended up with exactly what I'd been borrowing over the past year - a copycat edition of grandpa's Jeep. Speaking of copycat, Grandma got her ears re-pierced too!

3rd singles (5/2021)

Kindin finished diving season on a Friday and tried out for tennis the next Monday. Relatively inexperienced in tennis, she was thrilled to make the JV team. While it did cause considerable sleep deprivation, she thrives on being busy and pushed through the fatigue. She gained a lot of tennis know-how and fought hard to maintain her 3rd place singles spot. 

okoboji: 1, droid: 0 (9/2018)

I grew up hearing all about Lake Okoboji and drooling for a trip there. Naturally, when we got a boat, it was one of the first places we visited. My parents met us at a swanky hotel on the lake and we settled in for the weekend. But it ended up being a fairly disappointing trip - with choppy, crowded waters and an inaccessible, algae- infested shoreline. There was also the fact that I dropped my phone in the lake on the very first day of the trip. It wasn't all bad - we introduced our kids to spudnuts, the orphaned cat giftshop, and visited Arnolds Park. We just don't have many pictures to show for it...

 

I was a Girl Scout & so are you (3/2018)

Mom grew up in Girl Scouts so when both girls expressed interest, they were quickly enrolled. However, Girl Scouts never seemed to capture their attention... that is, with the exception of pedaling peanut butter patties 

and daddy daughter dances  

Turning 10 (3/2021)

Some things we've learned about Dalia this past year:

- She loves watching Hallmark movies. (Somewhere in mid October, she discovered their Christmas movies but enjoys a good wedding/ love story year round.) 

- She's got goals!

- Blissfully unconcerned about details, she inquired, "Mom, how do you spell Geneva?" (She also hasn't yet really taken the time to figure out time expressions and analog clocks.)

- She wants to add the guitar to her performing repertoire and is obsessed with fame. (She is currently doing her wax museum project on Doris Day and is mesmorized by Lisa Marie's airplane.)

- She frequently forgets to eat breakfast but never forgets to feed her beloved "Shelby" every morning. (Can you believe that the 'rescue' turtle has survived in the basement for a year now?)

- She patiently waits for the front desk staff to beep her in at dance every week rather than learning the door code like every other dancer. (The same holds true for the garage door code at home on early out Wednesdays)

- Her mind operates just like Marco's on Mulberry Street but she isn't afraid to exaggerate the details. With baby Jo (who is 8 months), she tells us that the baby verbalized 'puppy' and pointed to indicate preference.

- She needed glasses after all! (Early morning, sometimes agitated scripture reading is so much better!)

- to celebrate, we had a Supermarket Sweeps party. (Dolly always lets me try out my most unique ideas on her.) It was a wild trip down the aisle! And everyone at the store was quite impressed too.