if i had roasted

my father recently had a surprise 60th birthday party (never mind that we missed it on account of the biker traffic in sturgis)  and we all shared in the responsibilities of the party.  justin was tasked with giving the roast but i had the opportunity to provide input.  and i thoroughly enjoyed a quick think about my father's laughable qualities: 

his extremely loud snoring
a left arm tan
how he joined in with the kid's burping contests at the table
enjoying the same lunch every day for 40 plus years- and always at 10 am
how he helps out everyone else for their home projects and hires out his own home projects
all his crazy childhood stories like snow sledding on junk yard car hoods
his tutoring of random info like 'We must be close to a lake- Can your see how the landscape is changing? When he knocked over the pillar in westminster abbey with his backpack.