a deficit of control

with the introduction of school in the lives of stover fam, i had anticipated sheer panic with little control over stover girl's day. but what i've found instead has been panic with less control over stover baby's day. sleeptraining attempts during a busy schoolyear have brought to light the difference in environment that this third child came to. not only does she buckle up in a van that does exactly what it was made to do and often, she also came to a small home brimming with occupancy and received a much busier mother. over the past two weeks, many mommy tears have been shed wondering if i'm cheating this sometimes ignored, closet-sleeping, dragged along to errands baby. will stover baby thrive with a bit more unspecific mothering?

every time she flashes a smile before the van's in reverse, i'm reassured that she'll be okay- pacifier sleep crutch and all!