to loop or not to loop (8/2019)

When Dalia's 3rd grade teacher asked for some get-to-know you information, I found myself writing a novel. Second grade had been difficult and ended with a difficult decision about whether or not to loop into 3rd grade with her 2nd grade teacher. Drawn to exuberant expression and prone to pseudo-maturity as the youngest, she had found herself getting easily overwhelmed. So much so that I pulled her out of extracurricular activities because she began dreading them. Unable or unwilling to talk through her feelings, distraction was often times the only tool left in our toolbox. We also found notes she'd written about how she was stupid and that no one liked her. Here's the novel written to her teacher at the start of the year:

"Dalia is a joy. She is my most gregarious child- unafraid of performing for others and unashamed of speaking her mind. Dalia loves to dance and sing! In Kindergarten, she hummed while doing her schoolwork and at home, she wanders around singing vibrato constantly. Dalia has performed a tap solo to an auditorium full of people and has sung a solo in front of our church congregation. She swam for the recreational swim league all summer and loved it. On Saturdays, we go boating as a family and it's our very favorite place to be. At home, she likes to ride her bike, do art/ craft projects, and bake. Dalia's favorite subject at school is art and she says her least favorite is social studies. I believe that Dalia is good at Math and Spelling and she tends to be a visual learner. Recently, I have begun having Dalia read to me every day after school to improve her oral reading accuracy. I was noticing a lot of skipped words or lines when we read as a family every morning from the scriptures. I'm trying to decipher if it's from fatigue or because she's fidgeting and has poor reading posture. I would greatly appreciate your help with this as it is a new issue.

If asked, Dalia will say that she doesn't enjoy school. I don't believe this to be true but know that she struggles with nerves. Over the past year, I've recently discovered that time limitations and multi-step directions/ commands are her triggers. She is often wiped out after a school week and I have cut back on her after-school activities in an effort to help prevent fatigue. I often have to encourage her to take a mental break after school before diving into her homework and this can cause a melt-down because she insists that she needs to get it done. As you can imagine, I'm grateful to hear that you have brain breaks and use music in the classroom. 

Last year, Dalia would get headaches frequently. We took her into the eye dr who felt that she is a borderline case for getting glasses and will outgrow it.  However, should you notice headaches, please report them to me as we are still monitoring. In addition, I have Ibuprofen in the office for her and would like for her to have access to that whenever she requests it. However, be aware that she will ask for a bandaid with every tiny scrape too and these requests can be ignored. :)

Lastly, I feel I should mention that we chose not to have Dalia loop with Mrs Vandenburg because I wanted her to have new experiences (both socially and academically). I was very pleased with Mrs Vandenburg but felt strongly that she would thrive with a change."

She seems to have overcome a decent amount of angst and had a great report from her teacher at conferences.
"Dalia is someone I can count on for everything."
"I leave her name with substitute teachers because I know she can help."
"She shows motivation and interest in learning."
"She has good critical thinking skills."
"I used her research article as an example."
"Yes, she is elaborate and I love her."

On a related note, I am so thankful for children who always earn positive teacher reports.  Kindin's teachers usually resort to joking with fake claims of: rude, disrespectful, and disruptive. I also heard, "She is a good advocate - often checking in for accuracy and intent." and "She asks good questions." She earned Distinguished Honors (all As) this year and always wants to go the extra mile with her assignments.

Jack's teachers are impressed by how polite he is and I was shocked to see him use full sentences, clarifying questions, and salutations such as "have a good day." He has exceeded our expectations with a humble, teachable, and responsible transition to middle school.

mom's favorite Christmas gift (version 2018)

Thank you for trying on 5 or more uncomfortable outfits for matching. Thank  you for wearing mom-picked clothing that doesn't always suit your typical tastes.  Thank you for plastering a smile for 45 minutes through gritted teeth. Thank you for leaving work early to catch the best lighting. Thank you to a photographer who knows how to capture us best. Thank you for my most favorite Christmas gift every year!

Halloween 2018

Taco about a bunch of berry cute kids, donut you think?

Also coordinated were the 3rd hour petitioner and the 3rd hour eliminator!

she's officially 12! (3/2018)

A quintessential ego-centric example of her essentially at teenage status: Kindin insisted on canceling her regularly scheduled babysitting gig because the same old friend asked her to come over. When I refused to lie for her, she left with a scowl directed at me and a scathing retort, "Mom, your friends aren't asking you to hang out when you have to work so you don't understand." No, honey... that's never happened...  

(She is almost my height and wears my shoe size, is excelling at diving and was discovered to have 13 currently fitting swimsuits, she serves as an uncued toothfairy when needed, continues to be agonized with a variety of health-related worries that keep her awake at night, is often a stone's throw away from having to walk herself to school every morning... but is still deserving of the 'kind' contained in her name.)

keeping a list of anecdotes (5/2018)

While Dad remains the undisputed photog of the family, Mom tries diligently to remember the anecdotes. Here is a few from her list - in random order:

Kindin's school conferences are always a joy (particularly after the emotionally draining year she had last year): "a 7th grade high schooler", "I'd want my 7th gear to hang out with her", "I sit the new girl next to her", "never catty, socially mature", "I don't know what you did with her","Smart", "Self starter", "Reliable"

Jack's initiation and efficiency shines in the morning. He gets ready with so much time to spare - and finds creative outlets while he waits for everyone else to be ready. For a while, he went on a steady streak of sending us morning messages via the computer:

Dalia continues to thrive in the spotlight. She performed a tap solo and has plans to sing a solo in sacrament meeting. She has very little nerves and says that she 'enjoys making people smile'.

Kindin has begun adopting occasional use of 'Kay' as her first name to avoid confusion.  Tired of restating her name for dressing room attendants or fast food cashiers, she reports her name as Kay.

Jack burns through the most books in the house - reading a Harry Potter book in just a day and a half.  And comprehension and recall is kept fully intact! In fact, when reading scriptures, Jack shines as the one to reiterate the applicable message.

Mom loves shopping for Dalia as she's comfortable wearing almost anything. I often wonder how much my (and her sister's) conservatism holds her back.

Jack dislikes being alone and often waits on a willing sister participant. Outside of the house, he is an inclusive friend to all neighbor kids and rarely argues about the activity of choice. Needless to say, he often hears the phrase "find something to do on your own".

Kindin's attention to detail has earned her occasional compensation for grocery shopping. Mom takes her along when in a time crunch to get the shopping done quickly. (Mom prefers her abilities to Dad's.)

Hawaii reconsidered (12/2018)

The Hawaiian honeymoon we wanted but didn't dare afford (on a grad school budget) was delayed until our 10th anniversary. However, when that milestone came, pragmatics got the best of us again and we opted instead to land on Stover Street. As our 15th anniversary approached, we expected to afford Hawaii; but, ironically, now lacked the time for planning. Hawaii was reconsidered yet again ...and we opted for a cruise instead. And, heck, why not let the kids come along too? We also had last minute, surprise stow-aways (Grandpa, Omi, and Jordyn) join us.

We left from New Orleans and were able to see a city that I don't think, as non-imbibing church goers, would have had any business visiting otherwise. We stayed on Bourbon street, devoured beignets for breakfast, nodded at St Franklin church where Louisiana was purchased, and toured the above ground St Louis cemetary for a taste of voodoo burial.

Cruising over Christmas was a fun adventure:

the kids sailed with veracious appetites for swimming and soft serve ice cream cones (as well as pizza indulgences, plates for miles, and Dalia's wacky delight in mussels) and we trialed all sorts of family- friendly activities (including a thriller dance victory, Kindin and Dave as gameshow contestants, and Jack sinking the hole in one tourney).

All 3 excursions were fabulous. We landed first in Jamaica and met 'Bryan' (a native who'd never left the country). He served as our private tour guide to the rainforests of Montego Bay where we set foot in an old slave hospital (transformed into a church after slaves revolted and burned down the sugar cane plantation). We played in a waterfall and received countless tips on Jamaican agriculture along the way. We tasted local agriculture among the endless varieties of fruits (avocados, bananas, oranges, guavas, coconuts, papayas) and chewed on sugar cane. We also snagged jerk chicken and Bryan pointed out the record- winning amount of churches in this tiny 50 mile by 50 mile spot of land.

Next, we played for the day on white sands and in clear water in Grand Cayman. New, full face snorkel masks were a hit and and half of us even saw a stingray!

Our last stop in Cozumel was a bucket list stop. Swimming with the dolphin, Latika, was a surreal experience that was a kids favorite for sure. Mom also loved it - despite a bit of an initial startle. There, we also introduced the kids to virgin pina coladas and shopped for cheap.

On our final day of the cruise, we were entertained with what shall be famously referred to as the 'situation' in which we lost and abandoned one of our lifeboats.

All things (re) considered, we loved our carribean getaway!

her heart grew 3 sizes this summer (8/2018)

We've salivated over the boats of others for years - meanwhile, grimacing at the available options for boating in Omaha. Waiting and wishing for the abundance of mountain lakes that Dave and I are more accustomed to has felt farther and farther away as we've become more and more rooted in the Midwest. Inevitably, we finally came to this question: How much can we enjoy boating in the small, muddy, public lakes of Omaha? i.e. How much of a boat is a worthwhile investment considering the circumstances? Dave's parents graciously understand our struggle and accommodated our dilemma by letting us tow their boat home from Bear Lake in order to trial the substandard waters of the Midwest. We jumped at the experiment! (After, of course, a very speedy trade-in of David's dream car in order to get a hauling truck.) We had a glorious summer in our borrowed boat! We didn't invite friends but instead basked in the opportunity to be together as a family. We played all day with nothing on our minds except for lake time- even giving ourselves permission to be absent from some Saturday obligations. (After all, we can be missing for 12 Saturdays of the year, right?) It was so fun to teach our kids to wakeboard, to scout out local lakes, forage for boat snacks, drop in for random swims, cheer each other on, and even take boat naps.

We ALL loved it but it was mom's heart that grew 3 sizes this summer. David and I fell in love on the lake and behind the wheel of the boat, he wears an angel's halo.

(But, I've been dreaming about this since before there ever was a David... see this sketch from therapy training sessions in college.)